Believing my Feelings

As I’ve begun to share my personal experiences online, I’ve struggled with the desire to protect and honor all of my wonderful and supportive former colleagues, managers, and employers. On any given day, these individuals looked out for me, supported me, and were my friends. No one set out to make me miserable, overwork me, or destroy my inner peace.

So, why did I end up feeling so unhappy? The answer is multi-faceted, but one truth for me is that I bought into society’s message that money and professional success would bring me happiness. When my personal experience didn’t align with that expectation, I didn’t believe it. In fact, I didn’t even believe my own unhappiness. It’s strange to admit, but I didn’t trust my own feelings.

Instead, I looked around at others who seemed content, even happy, and thought, "I’m the one who’s wrong." I felt guilty about my feelings and hid them. I told myself I needed to be more grateful for what I had, thinking that my lack of gratitude was the problem.

I’m here to tell you: your feelings are valid because they are yours. Your emotions are trying to communicate something important, so listen to them. And know that it’s possible to feel gratitude for a job while still disliking elements that are unpleasant, harmful, or causing you pain. Acknowledging the imperfections in the workplace doesn’t make you a bad employee; it makes you human, with complex needs and desires.